Hey There

They say every creature is born with a purpose. Glitchy Monkey wasn’t born in a jungle—it was born at 2 a.m., under the glow of a phone screen, when your mind won’t stop replaying awkward conversations from 2009. It grew from the chaos of adulthood: too many responsibilities, too many open tabs, and a quiet suspicion that maybe you are the glitch in the system.

Instead of running from that mess, we turned it into something wearable. Each t-shirt is a badge for the overthinkers, the night scrollers, the meme philosophers, and the beautifully unhinged minds who know that life doesn’t come with a clean interface.

Glitchy Monkey isn’t fashion. It’s a secret handshake. A nod that says: “Yeah, I’m in the chaos too.”

Picture This:

You’re standing in line at a coffee shop, rehearsing how not to sound like a total weirdo when you order your latte. Suddenly, in strolls Glitchy Monkey. They trip over the welcome mat, spill half their drink, and still manage to turn to the crowd with a grin like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.”

That’s the vibe

Glitchy Monkey isn’t the polished influencer who wakes up flawless; they’re the friend who admits they’ve worn the same hoodie three days straight and then makes it sound like a lifestyle choice. They’re witty, a little self-deprecating, and always ready to laugh at their own glitches—so you feel a little better about yours.

They talk about caffeine jitters like it’s an Olympic sport, about the Sunday Scaries like they’re a horror franchise, and about awkward moments like…well, like every single day is one.

A bit cynical? Sure. But in the kind of way that makes you snort into your coffee and think, “Okay, same.”